Kirkkitsch’s Blog

Eggsasperating

Yesterday, I mentioned on Facebook, that I was making Valentines. The kit I bought only came with 6 and I needed more than that. Unfortunately, the kit I bought was the only one at the store (Jo-Ann Fabrics), so I figured I would try to find another kit somewhere else.

Having dropped off several things to be framed at a store in south Arlington, and (ironically*) having just eaten lunch at Chick Fil-A, I was near a Hobby Lobby, which I normally make a concerted effort to avoid at all costs (as do my friends). I say ‘concerted’ because, though I am not what I would consider a “militant” ‘mo, as a general rule of thumb, I don’t spend my money in anti-gay (read Christian) establishments (with the exception of Chick Fil-A, but their nuggets are like crack, so they’re the exception); Hobby Lobby being one, Cracker Barrel being another, and so on. However, since I was near and I hadn’t been there in years, I figured ‘what the hell.’

Wow. Absolutely nothing had changed since I’d been there last. They still carried LOADS of godawful (pun intended), cheaply-made knick knacks (read future landfill fodder). Naturally, most of it was cross-shaped and/or praying hands and bore the words ‘Believe’ and/or ‘Faith.’ Jesus is a hot commodity here in Texas. Stamp it with enough Christian bullshit and someone will buy it.

So, I go down the Valentine aisle, or try to: waiting for the atypical oblivious whitetrash that seems to migrate to this type of place on a regular basis, to move their carts out of the center of the fuckin’ aisle. The pair are together (mother & daughter, and multiple children, natch) and the mother is in the process of “disciplining” her child, who is refusing to sit down in the cart. She pleads (with a fuckin’ 4 year old?) and finally threatens that if he doesn’t sit down he’s going to get a ‘smack.’ Sorry, he passed ‘smack’ about 10 minutes ago when he didn’t do what he was told the first couple of times. So she smacks him. He unleashes a series of bloodcurdling screams that have nothing to do with pain, but everything to do with a tantrum. She goes on to tell him how she warned him, but he won’t stop screaming/wailing, doing it more each time she starts to talk to him. Her solution? Bribe him with the promise of buying him a treat if he’ll ‘be good.’ WHAT THE FUCK? The pathetic thing is that I see this behavior ALL THE TIME. Since when did BAD behavior get REWARDED? I saw a similar scene take place at Target a few weeks ago. Parents today SUCK and so do their future losers. But I digress.

The Valentine aisle was next to the St. Patrick’s Day aisle and the Easter Aisle (yes, Easter…already). That’s where I saw this:

Yes, Resurrection Eggs (in English and Spanish {thank goodness}). Oy, just when you thought things couldn’t get more retarded than this, “Resurrection Eggs” come along. Naturally, home schoolers love ‘em.

Here’s what’s generally found inside each egg:

• Branches When Jesus entered Jerusalem to celebrate Passover the people spread palm branches on the ground for His donkey to walk on.  They believed He had come to save them from the bad rulers of their Country.
30 Soon after He arrived in Jerusalem  Judas Iscariot, one of his friends agreed to betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver!
• Bread The disciples joined Jesus to have their Passover meal.  While they were eating He took the bread and told them “This is my body which is broken for you.”
• Praying Hands They came to a place named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, “Sit here until I have prayed.” Jesus knew that He was going to go through a very rough time and He wanted to spend time with His Heavenly Father preparing.
• Whip While He was praying the time came when Judas betrayed Him!  Jesus was arrested and beaten with a whip.
• Crown of Thorns They were very mean to Jesus and they made fun of Him by twisting a crown of thorns, they put it on Him.  They called Him “The King of the Jews”
• Nails  After they made him carry His own cross up the hill they nailed him to the cross and left Him there until He died.
• Dice The guards gambled with dice to see who would win Jesus clothes.
• Spear To make sure that He was dead they poked Him in the side with a spear.  Clear liquid came out and they knew that He was dead.
• Cloth  When He was wrapped in burial cloth and laid in a burial tomb.  A large stone was rolled over the opening to close the door.
• Stone 3 days later 2 women came to the tomb.  Looking up, they saw that the stone had been rolled away, although it was extremely large.
• EMPTY!!! The tomb was empty!!!  Jesus was not dead!  An angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid; for I know that you are looking for Jesus who has been crucified.  He is not here, for He has risen, just as He said He would”. He had come to save the people just as he said he would.  Not from bad rulers, but from sin.

Yikes. I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Yes I do. Yet one more validation that 90% of so-called Christians are cerebrally-challenged. I seriously think they’re self-absorbed enough to eventually give ALL holidays a theological (and I use the term loosely) ‘spin’ before all is said and done. And yes, I realize that Easter is (yet another) holiday with its origins in Christianity, but there’s a fine line between letting children be children and indoctrination. I often wonder what these brainwashers, er, I mean parents are so afraid of that they can’t possibly allow their children to be just that: children. Of course, I see these types, when challenged, saying “Well, let’s ask Johnny and Susie what THEY think about this. Are you happy? Do we try and make you do things you don’t want to do?” And, naturally, having already been converted, they go “On no, mommy, the world of popular culture is the devil’s work.” Doh! Another brain cell bites the dust. One can only hope that when they get old enough to think for themselves, they’ll do just that. At least that way they can make an educated decision, but only if they get out in the REAL world and don’t look at mom & dad, for coaching, every time they’re asked how they feel about something and WHY. Let’s hope someone challenges their BRAIN and urges them to USE it, not just regurgitate hollow words and phrases.

*ironic because Chick Fil-A is notoriously Christian

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