Filed under: Life
This is one of the two songs I chose for my mother’s funeral service one year ago today. I know that certain songs, smells ,etc. can transport you to a lot of different places, but I never knew exactly how extremely effective it could be. Though I still love this song and it’s melancholy message, I think I’ve inadvertently tainted it forever. I miss my mom and I hate how things are turning out. I want to push the ‘reset’ button and start all over again.
Having struck out in both the real and virtual world, I focused my energy on phone and paper personals. I remember my first blind ‘date’ like it was yesterday. In my first ad, the sky was the limit. In addition to my “stats,” I went into detail (however bizarre) about what I was looking for. In addition to personality traits, I mentioned that physically, I liked muscular guys (bodybuilders, even)’ big noses; Roman features I believe they’re called.
I got a response. We talked on the phone and I was told by “Gordon” that he moved office furniture, thus his alleged muscular build. He also mentioned that he had the ‘big nose’ I’d mentioned having a soft spot for. We agreed to meet in Dallas at, what was, at the time, a TGI Fridays. I would soon find out that the only soft spot I had was in my head. (more…)
• Gastroanomalies: Questionable Culinary Creations from the Golden Age of American Cookery by James Lileks © 2007
Synopsis: It was a time of innocence, nuclear families, traditional values . . . and BAD FOOD. In an era where cooks wanted to put their best foot forward, there was no end to the creative, cost-efficient, and cream-based dishes that disgraced the family dinner table, the cocktail party, or the neighborhood BBQ. Recipes involving ingredients like ground meat, bananas, and cottage cheese sound innocent enough—unless you mix them all together in a strange attempt to cover every food group at once.
In Gastroanomalies, James Lileks gathers another remarkable assortment of dishes that once inspired cooks to brave new heights but now inspire sour stomachs and thoughts of “how did I survive?” Highlighted with excerpts from bizarre cookbooks (like Joan Crawford shilling for Bisquick), dubious images (is it meat or chocolate ice cream?), ads heralding the latest in kitchen technology (how about a bacon-egger?), and Lileks’s acerbic, off-the-wall commentary (“Put your ear close, and you can actually hear the meat screaming in terror”), Gastroanomalies is an irresistible retro documentation of a bygone era when artisanal cheese and vegetables lightly steamed (not boiled to mush) were still light-years away. Gastroanomalies will have foodies, baby boomers, and lovers of kitsch in stitches.
Comments: Having enjoyed The Gallery of Regrettable Food immensely, it was a no-brainer to pick this item up when I saw it prominently displayed at a Half Price Books recently. I must admit though, I am more than a little jealous that I can’t pull something like this off, what with my enormous collection of ‘bad’ cookbooks. *sigh* It’d probably just end up selling for $3 (used) on Amazon anyway, not unlike Lileks’ other books. Sometimes I wonder if being an author is all it’s cracked up to be. (more…)
A few weeks ago, before it started raining 3X a week, I’d just started watering the front lawn (finally!). I chose to do it at night. The first night I went out to move the sprinkler, there was some random guy jogging by my house at that exact moment (10:30PM, to be precise). The next night, I forgot I left the sprinkler on, and when I went to move it, again, same guy jogging past. I checked my watch, yep, 10:30, just like clockwork.
As I turned to go back inside, I saw 10 shadowy things, sitting on the right side of my front porch. Even with the porch light on, the way they were positioned, I couldn’t make out what they were. I was freaking OUT, because they hadn’t been there earlier when I turned on the sprinkler. But…what were they? (more…)
Having quickly OD’ed on the bar scene, I looked to the precursor to the chat room, the BBS (Bulletin Board System)’ to meet new people. For the most part, not unlike the real world bars, the majority of the gay men were looking just for sex (some things never change).
However, I made a connection (or so I was led to believe) with a guy my age, who would be attending the same college as myself (UTA) come fall. (more…)
