YIPE! YIPE! YIPE! YIPE! YIPE!
Yeah, that’s Joey (Call me ‘Joseph‘…oy vey) Lawrence. What’s up with that face? From the neck down, yeah; ROCKIN’ bod. From the neck up, as someone in another forum said: “Fucked-up mannequin face.” I have to concur. But not always, therein lies the rub. I’ve tried putting my finger on it, but I just can’t pinpoint it. Everyone seems to be obsessing over his “hair”/”hairline”, which is a no-brainer; some kind of hair transplant, hair in a can, etc. Duh. The thing that’s freakin’ me out is what IS it about his face? I know it’s not a nose job. It’s something more subtle, yet totally compromises the rest of the package. I think the SUPER-SHAPED eyebrows are part of the culprit, but what else? Is it the eyes? Botox?
Whatever the case, I was never a big fan…except for a few episodes of Blossom, where he was shirtless and beefy. Then I lost interest until the late 90′s, when he got super-buff and had the short haircut and ceased looking like a girl and started looking like a MAN. Then he lost me again when he shaved the head and started looking WAAAAY too “groomed” a la gay man’s bathroom counter-”groomed”. He got shiny and tanned and just way too weird for me to feel comfortable finding sexy. It was like how I felt when Jude Law was a robot gigolo in A.I.
ANYWAY, the recent photos of him shirtless and ‘working out’ in an L.A. park, are pretty tasty…from the neck down. Oddly enough seeing those shorts and black socks, were what convinced me that he’s straight…not his wife and kids. Awful. And speaking of, his brothers creep me out too. Everyone (read gay men) seem to be all over his brother Matthew (the one from Mrs. Doubtfire). Yuh-uk. Definitely NOT. Knock yourselves out. He’s ALL yours. And the rest of the colony.
And what you may ask, got me started on all this Joey Lawrence madness? Believe it or not, his and Melissa Joan Hart’s new TV show just hit NetFlix and morbid curiosity got the best of me. Since it’s an ABC Family show, it’s a given that the humor is ham-fisted. BUT, I have fond memories of Melissa Joan Hart in Clarissa Explains It All and You Drive Me Crazy (i.e. pre-baby). And like I said, I like his bod…though the face is creepin’ me out. As for the show, if you ever saw Who’s The Boss?, then you’ve seen Melissa & Joey. Just toss in a token Asian character in lieu of the token senior citizen (i.e. Mona) and it’s Who’s The Boss? 2.0.
[ Click image to enlarge the "I'm trying WAY too hard" ]
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He’s Teddy Graham colored….Probably some Botox a la carte.
Comment by April Ingram November 8, 2011 @ 7:06 pmLOL! True dat. Sometimes he looks alright, then sometimes he looks just plain weird. But, in the end, there’s nuthin’ his pecs can’t fix. Er, I mean ‘love’.
Comment by kirkkitsch November 10, 2011 @ 5:36 am